ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
