Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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