tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
