you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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