I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
