Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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