He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I FOUND THE LEGS
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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