Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
