remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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