Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
