what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
