Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Boobs speak an international language.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
