dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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