so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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