He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
