I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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