The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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