i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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