I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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