i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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