Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
