i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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