I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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