Screwed.edu
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
