eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
