she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Let's get the cat blown out
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm both gender and math confused
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
