super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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