Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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