I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
