i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
