does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
