real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
