You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
