The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
