i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
