Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
