giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
