shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
