She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
