I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Never underestimate the power of titties
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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