therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
