By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
