i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
