Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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