Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
