we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I can text with my tongue
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
