so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
