Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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