I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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