Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
whose parrot is this?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
