i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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